I'm in such a down mood today, i don't think i've mentioned before but i suffer from depression and anxiety,i was off work for a few months with it last year. This year i was determined to not let it hold me back, i got back to work, started excercising and picked up my crafting again, and it worked, for a while.
It's back though (i hate saying that because it never really went) but it feels like i'm back in that place, i can't sleep, i'm barely eating, i'm always exhausted (obviously) and i can't bring myself to face work.
I text my boyfriend to say sorry for being like this and i've let us down, he text back saying, that he knows i'll get through it and will be with me forever and support me but he can't commit to me until i commit to work, i literally feel like my heart is breaking, we've talked about getting engaged, he's even bought the ring and now to find out i've messed it all up...i'm just gutted.
I know i should be focusing on myself and not some ring and day but i felt like the only good thing i had was our relationship, and the only thing i've been good at for a while was being his girlfriend.
To find that i've messed that up too, kills me.
I love him so much, and hate myself for putting him under this stress.
I just don't know what to do anymore, where to turn or to who. I literally feel lost in my own life.
I'm sorry to ramble and moan and complain but i literally don't have anything else that can get my feelings out like this.